Co-Creation at Its Worst?

Ever wonder about co-creation? I don’t mean the type of co-creation we do with God. I mean the kind we do with the people in our lives. I’ve been wondering about it a lot lately.

My husband is going through a rough patch. He’s between jobs and doing consulting here and there. It’s a stressful situation, and, understandably, it doesn’t make him feel great. Despite the fact that he and I have traveled the spiritual path together for many years, and he and I learned about conscious creation, creative thought, Law of Attraction – whatever you want to call it – long ago, he tends to stop believing when things aren’t going so well. He loses faith. And when he loses faith, he tends to think a lot of negative thoughts. Given that I believe our thoughts are, indeed, creative, I have a problem with that. I don’t want his negative thoughts manifesting in my life. Yet, we share a life.

Do we, therefore, co-create the bad things that might show up in our shared life, or does he create them and I simply deal with them (and vice versa)? I know that if I worry about him creating them, I help create them. I’ve been angry about him moping around the house feeling like a victim and telling me how nothing good ever happens to him and how it “just figures” that bad things happen to him. Feeling that way doesn’t open me up to creating good things or receiving them either. So, I guess I do co-create negatively with him on some levels and in some ways.

I was on the phone with my mastermind group today, and I mentioned my issues with my husband (since the group of women happen to be some of my best friends in the world), and one of the women asked me how I was handling the situation. I said, “I just keep focusing on what I want to create and on what’s working in my life. That makes me feel better.”

You see, I know that when I feel good, I open myself up to the Divine flow of goodness available to me. I open myself up to receive what I desire. When we feel negative emotions, we close down and don’t allow ourselves to receive. We become disconnected from the Divine flow of goodness that is normally available to us.

I also know that when I focus my attention on what I want, I am likely to create it. (The same, of course, goes for focusing attention on what I don’t want.) And when I focus on what’s working, I get more of what’s working.

Maybe by doing these things I simply counterbalance my husband’s negative thinking, thereby not allowing anything bad or good to happen in our shared lives. I suppose that’s a better co-creation than some others! I’ll take it over co-creating something I don’t want!

If I focus harder than he does on what I really do want and open myself up to receiving by feeling really great and knowing in my body that all is well and that only good is coming to me, I might put so much energy into creating something positive that I negate his negative thoughts and create something positive. I suppose that wouldn’t be co-creation, would it? It would be worth creating though…

So, I guess I do believe we co-create, that what others manifest affects me and my life to some extent even if it is not something I may have consciously wanted to manifest for myself. And maybe that’s part of the Divine plan or our own individual Divine plan. Maybe that’s part of being in relationship. Maybe learning how to co-create on the physical plane simply represents part of the human experience.

A Kabbalistic Conscious Creation Session -- By Myself, For Myself

With all the buzz about the best-selling book The Secret and my own focus on looking at conscious creation, or what these days is most commonly called The Law of Attraction, from a Kabbalistic perspective, you’d think I’d focus my thoughts with little problem. While I am normally in the habit of focusing my thoughts of what I want – and combining these with my feelings of having what I want – on a regular basis, these last two weeks I just can’t seem to focus on anything. Nor can I add in the final step to the conscious creation process – action. As a result, I’m not achieving the results I want. (Maybe that's why it's taken me so long to post a new blog...) I’m not manifesting my desires – in fact, I’m often creating just the opposite.

I get up in the morning and immediately my mind tries to go in too many directions at once, but since you can only think about one thing at a time, it just jumps from one subject or interest or issue to the next continuously. This renders me unable to concentrate on any one thing. I feel like I’m in a meditator’s worst nightmare. Of course, my feelings jump around along with my thoughts, leaving me with the sense that I’m playing emotional leap frog. Not only can’t I seem to train my thoughts or feelings on any one thing for any length of time, I also can’t seem to put energy into action for more than 15 minutes at a time. I sit at my desk all day and feel totally distracted and unfocused and don’t get anything done.

Yet, because I am not disciplined with my thoughts, they go where they like. My thoughts are on things I don’t want, things I don’t like, such as being scattered, not getting things done, fears that my lack of focus will result in negative consequences (unhappy clients, rejected manuscripts and proposals, not enough money). It’s as if it’s easier to think about what I don’t want than what I do want.

So, is it something in the stars affecting me in this way? It would be nice to blame my condition on something out of my control. Actually, I think the problem is simply that I have too much going on – really. I’m scattered. If I’m not working on one book project, I’m working on another. Or I’m trying to teach a teleseminar or write a booklet. Or I’m promoting myself on line or trying to get speaking gigs at radio shows or at synagogues and churches. And when I’m not doing those work-related activities, I’m playing taxi drive to my two kids, acting as my son’s talent agent and manager, planning meals, shopping and running errands, and handling camp physicals and other doctor’s appointments. Oh, then there’s the bill paying, gardening, cleaning, and laundry to handle as well. And, I’m supposed to exercise at some point… So, what’s a girl to do? What would a Kabbalistic conscious creation coach – or a teacher of The Secret (the Law of Attraction) – tell me to do?

Ah, well…I would tell the girl – me – to take a deep breath and stop for a moment. Then I’d tell her to make a list of the projects at hand, the things she wants to create and the desires she is wanting to fulfill. Then, I’d tell her to chunk them down into two or three tasks. I’d have her break her day into sections, with each section devoted to one thing only. I would tell her to turn off the phone and shut down her Internet connection – unless that portion of the day was devoted to phone calls or e-mails – and to only focus on that one job at hand. First, as Esther Hicks channeling Abraham would say, do a little segment intending. Focus on what you want during this segment of your day. Imagine yourself accomplishing what it is you want to accomplish and feel what it would be like to reach that goal. Think it, feel it, visualize it – and then take action for the allotted amount of time.

I would also recommend that when she wakes up and she spend 10 minutes focusing on her goals before she ever gets going with her day. I’d have her say the goal as an affirmation – a positive statement of the goal achieved or what she wants received – and then follow this with a brief visualization of what it would look and feel like to have accomplished what she set out to accomplish. Then I’d have her spend a few minutes several times during the day reviewing those goals. She’d end her day by looking at the goals she needs to work on again the next day and writing new ones for the following day.

Lastly, I’d have her start and end each day with a prayer that all her thoughts, words, feelings, and actions be devoted to serving God and the highest good of all who will be touched by her actions and goals achieved.

Lastly, since she has spent the majority of the day in the Kabbalistic worlds of thinking, feeling and doing, I’d recommend that she spend some time in the evening – and maybe in the morning as well or just before beginning work – in the world of being. This could mean meditating, praying, chanting, or simply staring at the wall. This would allow her to get in touch with herself and with a Higher Power, so she would allow a Divine flow into her life.

That’s it: Kabbalistic conscious creation for the person who has too much going on to focus – or who needs a way to focus so she or he can effectively create what they want rather than what they don’t want. A trip through the worlds of being, thinking, feeling, and doing as a way of getting focused and moving towards what we want to manifest. The Kabbalists would say that in this way we don’t attract but we instead create our desires.

Now…let’s see if I can take my own advice and make that Kabbalistic trip myself.