Spiritual Time Reminds Us of Who We Are

On Monday I took my two children, aged 12 and 14, off to camp for a four-week stay. They go to camp every year, but this is the first time they have attended for more than three weeks. My son was so excited; camp is the highlight of his year. My daughter was less excited; she’s at that age when camp is no longer such a thrill (unless, like her brother, you live for camp) and she left a boyfriend behind, which made her very sad. My husband and I said goodbye to them with a mix of melancholy and joy. We always miss them and worry about them, but we are so thrilled to have a break and to get some time to ourselves. We always say, “We all need a break from each other.”

Since my husband goes off to work early and returns late, I have the whole day to myself when they are gone. I decided to treat myself each morning to spiritual time. First, I sit in my bedroom and read an inspiring book and a little of the Sefer Yetzirah (The Book of Creation). Then I write “morning pages” in my journal. Then I make tea and go upstairs to my meditation room, where I read a little of the Zohar, the most important Kabbalistic text written by Shimon Bar Yochai, a little of The Course in Miracles, and a page or two from Kabbalah 365. Then, I do Wayne Dosick’s 20 Minute Kabbalah practice, which involves a time for meditation or prayer, and then I finish up by pulling a Tarot card and two Kabbalah cards (from different decks). I write down the meaning of these (intuited or from a book) and then write a little about them in another journal.

(Unfortunately, I will not be able to continue this full process after these four weeks, since it has been taking me at least an hour and 45 minutes to complete, and I normally don’t have that much time in the morning. During this time I will at least get me in the habit, and I can then pick and choose what I do each day, incorporating as many elements as time allows. I will, unfortunately, also miss one week while I am at the Aleph Kallah, but I plan to incorporate at least the morning pages and the 20 Minute Kabblah practice into my schedule there.)

I have to say that this time during the last two mornings has been so enjoyable and refreshing and rejuvenating, that I don’t want to do much the rest of the day! I just want to continue reading and meditating and chanting.

Today I really lucked out. A tree feel on some electrical wires not far from my house, which caused the electricity to go out. (That might not seem lucky, but keep reading…) In fact, the electricity has been out all day. So, I actually completed my morning with an hour long walk. It was perfect. I could do this easily every day, and I would probably actually get some real work done afterwards if I was simply writing my own books rather than feeling pressed to edit for clients, write queries to magazines, handle emails, prepare and schedule talks and workshops, etc. (I’d be inspired and in the flow for my own creative work, but I sometimes find that I’m less inspired or motivated to do things I “have” to do.) When I returned from the walk, I read and ate lunch in the sun on the deck with my two cats for company. I would have loved to then go into the garden, or continue reading, or meditate again…

Isn’t that the thing that stops so many of us from having a regular spiritual practice each morning? The fear that then that is all we will want to do – be spiritual? I know I’ve always been afraid that if I spent too much time meditating and doing spiritual rituals and praying and the like, I’d want to be like one of those hermits or gurus who just sits at the top of a mountain or in a cave communing with God. What would happen to my life? It would fall apart.

That’s the reason most of us don’t pursue really, truly having a spiritual experience. We’re too afraid of how the experience will change us and our lives. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Jesus said it best; the goal is to “be in the world but not of it.” We must have the experience of our own other-worldly-ness and of God but bring that knowledge into this physical world to help us live in it more fully. We must all remember that we are “spiritual beings having a human experience” (Anyone know who said that?) not human beings having a spiritual experience. We must remember who we are and then bring that into the mundane, every day-ness of our lives.

Both yesterday and today I received a messages pertaining to this idea. On Tuesday it was during the meditation that is part of my 20 Minute Kabbalah practice and today it was afterwards when I pulled a Kabbalah card. Both times I was told to reconnect with the spiritual dimension – with God – continually during the day.

Today, before my walk, I also treated myself to a phone session with a dowser. (Yes, they not only find water but clear energy and do healing work – even by phone.) I wanted to clear some blocks I felt I had concerning my work and my health. Interestingly, he reiterated this same point before we hung up. He told me that during the day I could spend 15 seconds thinking about him, thereby tapping back into his energy. He sees himself as a conduit for this energy – be it Divine energy or healing energy or whatever type of energy you want to call it. So, I see his message as similar to the others: Don’t let the whole day go by without connecting and reconnecting to the spiritual dimension and to God. Don’t forget that you are part of that dimension even as you exist on this physical plane. Remember that you are a spiritual being having a human experience. Don’t lose your connection to God and the Divine flow of energy and goodness.

I’ll be looking forward to the morning…and reconnecting a little bit here and there until the dawn comes.

What's the Secret? Be Happy

I’ve been suffering from all sorts of medical ailments, which are mostly related to perimenopause. Dry eye. Weight gain. Migraine headaches. Aches and pains. It was the constant headaches – basically every day – that sent me to the doctor, however. Although she agreed that most of my problems came from age – nice to hear – and the changes through which my body was going, she said they could also be stress related or at stress aggravated. She felt the muscles in my shoulders, neck and head and said, “Go to a massage therapist every week. And have some fun.”

I had just finished telling her how the most fun I had every day was eating the great dinners I cook. I know I overeat to compensate for the fact that, sadly, eating is my most enjoyable activity each day. If I can’t do something for myself during the day, I figure I can at least eat what I like…and enough to feel really full and satisfied. I know that’s not only unhealthy but not true happiness either.

Sad to think that I might not be happy. Or am I? How often do I do things that make me smile or laugh? How often am I carefree, spontaneous, and feeling really good? Not too often.

Anyone who has ever watched the DVD or read the book The Secret or has listened to or read the teachings of Abraham as channeled by Esther Hicks knows that for the so-called secret – combining thoughts of what we want with feelings of already having it – to work, we must feel good. Abraham explains why: When we feel good, we vibrate at a frequency that allows in what we want. This is the Law of Allowing. In order to receive what we want, we must, therefore, feel good. We must be happy.

Uh, oh…maybe that’s why I’m not manifesting all my desires.

The Kabbalists say something quite similar. They say that as long as we are focused on what we want, which is an affirmation of lack, we are unhappy and aren’t allowing ourselves to receive what we want. We also are never satisfied with what we receive. We could ask for and receive a million dollars and then immediately want two million dollars. Thus, we are unhappy much of the time and die with 50% of our desires unfulfilled.

The main thing that stops us from being happy – and therefore receiving – is the unhappiness that we have because we feel separate from God. The Kabbalah Center calls this “bread of shame,” but I hate that term. It doesn’t sit right with me. The wife of Rabbi Ashlag calls it the “suffering of separation.” I like that better and it resonates as true. What she means is this: We suffer as long as we see ourselves as separate from God, because what we want it to be one with the Creator.

(This goes back to my last blog where I talked about the separation caused by God giving and us receiving. As long as there is a giver and a receiver, we are two individual entities. We are the receivers and God is the Giver. We have to learn to give unconditionally – to receive only to give – in order to act and be like God, thus causing us to feel and remember our oneness, our unity with God. Then we are happy. Then we receive all of God’s goodness.)

So, our work lies in finding ways to feel our oneness with God. The kabbalists would say, transform your consciousness. That new consciousness should be your primary desire. What is this consciousness? To give unconditionally. To receive only to give. Then we behave in a God-like manner…we become the giver and in the process we receive. What do we receive? Happiness. And with that happiness, we open ourselves to receive the constant flow of goodness from God. All our wishes are granted. All our dreams become manifest.

That’s the real secret – or maybe just the next level, the next phase that no one’s talking about.

It would be easier, I think, to go out dancing, see a comedic movie tak a walk in the woods. I'll try both...to do things that make me happy and to change my nature to one of receiving to give. I'll keep you posted on my progress.