I'm Back wtih Post Shavuot Thoughts

After more than a one month absence, I’m back…sort of. I feel a bit like I’m only half here, since my life seems just a bit crazy still. You see, while I teach people how to live life fully, mine has just a bit over full lately and totally unbalanced. I admit it; all I’ve been doing is working.

Since I last blogged, I’ve reorganized and republished my Kabbalah of Conscious Creation booklet. I’ve prepared for a trip to Chicago, where I gave two talks and led one workshop. While there I did manage to visit two friends, whom I stayed with and another woman I knew and whose horses I used to ride. (I visited my favorite horse, too.) I also recorded a CD of meditations. I came back home to finish writing a book proposal and two articles and to finish helping my new webmaster totally redesign my website. And there have been small projects interspersed within these bigger ones.

My husband has also been traveling – even while I was in Chicago – and my kids have gotten sick (me, too), and my son has graduated from middle school, and we’ve had a huge wildfire near our house, and we’ve had some yard work done. The house, as you might imagine, is a mess inside and out. Thank goodness, my husband is still working at his new, new job, as I like to call it (the one he accepted after he accepted and the resigned from the other new job), so I can finally hire my every-other-week housekeeper to come back and help me clean up the mess inside the house.

All this to say, I’m sorry for disappearing for a month, but something had to go. The blog turned out to be that something. But now I’m back. But…

I missed Shavuot, the holiday when we celebrate receiving the Torah on Mt. Sinai. I was hoping to get around to writing this blog on Monday so I could say something about the holiday, but now it’s past. With my book, The Kabbalah of Conscious Creation about receiving as well as giving, it seemed appropriate.

Instead, I received information to help me open to receiving on Monday. That seemed appropriate. I had a session with a woman who is clairvoyant and does energy work from a distance. She helped me clear some old issues that were blocking me. Interestingly, it took me back to a past life with an old boyfriend. (Hi, Eddie…) Who would have thought not being chosen in this life time would relate to being chosen in another? Or that either of these incidents would some how be affecting my ability to have my work chosen by a publisher? Well, according to this woman, it was all energetically tied together. And in the process of going back over my teenage years and my relationship with this young man, I received an understanding that previously had evaded me. I received an understanding I didn’t even know I needed to have.

I also let go of a piece of my past, making room for something new to enter – a little bit of future.

And, interestingly, this information I received did tie in to Shavuot. For on that day when the Israelites were given the Torah, they truly became the so-called Chosen People, entering into a covenant with God. And as I was told, I, too, on this awesome holiday, was asking to be chosen, opening myself up to being chosen, and allowing my work to be chosen.

My book, which I released in its proposal form to my agent after my session that afternoon so some publisher might choose it and me, will offer readers a way to open to receiving. In fact, it also offers me a way of opening to receiving. And in my session, I was reminded that sometimes we have to open our hands (stop controlling) in order to receive. And sometimes we have to let what is in our hands go so that something else we want can be placed there instead.

So, I guess in a kind of round about way I’m writing about Shavuot after all. I’ve rambled a bit here and there, wandered like the Israelites in the desert, but I think I feel I’ve gotten clarity in the last month and begun to see my path a bit more clearly. After finishing the proposal, I see where I am going with my book project. I see my work clearly. On another front, I see the need for balance in my life clearly. I know where I’m going. I’ve received helpful information, and I’m open to receiving more. I’m also ready to be chosen for the task I desire to take on.

They say that all Jewish souls in existence today were at Mt. Sinai when the Israelites were given the Torah. Maybe that’s why this feeling feels so familiar.

A Month Packed with Holidays: Lag B’Omer and Shavuot

Two important Jewish holidays fall during the month of May: Lag b’Omer and Shavuot. However, the first is often overlooked by less observant Jews – and it is little understood by many. Maybe because many have found it hard to figure out what it’s really about.

I like the first holiday, Lag b'Omer, probably because it has a Kabbalistic bent and her in California my renewal group celebrates it with a bonfire on the beach and lots of drumming and singing and dancing. Most commonly, we are told that Lag b’Omer, which is celebrated this year on May 23, joyously commemorates great sage and mystic Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai’s yahrzeit (anniversary of his passing). Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, who lived in the 2nd century of the Common Era, was the first to publicly teach the mystical dimension of the Torah known as the "Kabbalah," and is proportedly theauthor of the basic work of Kabbalah, the Zohar.

Why would we celebrate his death with festivities? On the day of his passing, after revealing many deep secrets of the Torah to his students, Rabbi Shimon instructed his disciples to mark the date as "the day of my joy." Also, the Chassidic masters explain that the final day of a righteous person's earthly life marks the point at which "all his deeds, teachings and work" achieve their culminating perfection and the zenith of their impact upon our lives. So, each Lag b’Omer we celebrate Rabbi Shimon's life, teachings and the influence they have had on so many people.

Many of those who live in Israel may visit Rabbi Shimon’s resting place in Miron on this, the 33rd day of the Counting of the Omer. According to the Torah (Vayikra, Parshat Emor, 23:15-16), we are obligated to count the days from the second night of Pesach to the day before Shavuot, seven full weeks. These 49 days represent the 49 days of preparation from the exodus from Egypt the receiving of the Torah at Mt. Sinai on the seventh day of Sivan. The Counting of the Omer is a lovely yearly tradition that takes you from Passover to Shavuot in a Kabbalistic, spiritual and deeply personal manner.

I like what Rachel Barenblatt, “The Velveteen Rabbi” (check out her blog at www.velveteenrabbi.com) has to say about it: “Literally, the name means "the 33rd day of the Omer." -- remember, "counting the Omer" means counting the 49 days between Pesach and Shavuot. Once upon a time, we counted the days between spring planting and spring harvest. More recently, we think in terms of counting the days between liberation and revelation, because we understand freedom not only as freedom-from but also freedom-toward.”

Other people celebrate the holiday with outings, bonfires and bows and arrows. Why a bonfire? The bonfire signifies the great light that came into the world with Rabbi Shimon. Additionally, the Zohar says that on the day Rabbi Shimon died, a great light of endless joy filled the day because of the secret wisdom he revealed to his students. That secret wisdom was recorded in the Zohar. The sun did not set until Rabbi Shimon had revealed all he was allowed to reveal, and as soon as he was finished, the sun set and he died. Supposedly a fire surrounded the house preventing any but Rabbi Shimon's closest students from approaching; this serves as another basis for the custom of lighting bonfires on Lag b'Omer.

As for the bows and arrows, some say that relates back to a plague that occurred during the Counting of the Omer. Supposedly, Lag b’Omer also commemorates the end of a plague that raged amongst the disciples of the great sage Rabbi Akiva "because they did not act respectfully towards each other" during the weeks between Passover and Shavuot. This time period, therefore, is observed as a period of mourning, with various joyous activities proscribed by law and custom. However, on Lag b’Omer, the dying ceased. That might be why children observe Lag b'Omer by playing with bows and arrows, a way of remembering the students who fought amongst themselves. (Rabbi Shimon was one of Rabbi Akiva's students who survived the plague.)

Barenblatt tells a different story: “Some say that what [Lag b’Omer is] really about is, Rabbi Akiva supported the Bar Kokhba revolt against Roman occupation. Many of his students followed him in supporting that revolt, and were killed. The so-called "plague" which ended on Lag b'Omer is a euphemism for the ill-fated rebellion. (In that case, kids play with bows and arrows as a symbolic re-enactment of the fight against Roman oppression.)”

Lastly, some people say that the manna which fell from heaven during the Israelites' wanderings in the desert began to fall on the 18th of Iyar, which is the 33rd day of the Omer, so maybe Lag b’Omer celebrates that.

This brings us to Shavuot, which falls on May 29 this year, the second of the three major festivals (Passover being the first and Sukkot the third). This holiday occurs exactly 50 days after the second day of Passover and marks the anniversary of the day when the Jews received the Torah at Mount Sinai.

The word "Shavuot" means "weeks." It marks the completion of the seven-week counting period – the Counting of the Omer – between Passover and Shavuot. During these seven weeks the Jewish people cleansed themselves of the scars of Egyptian slavery and became a holy nation ready to enter into an eternal covenant with God with the giving of the Torah. Every year on the holiday of Shavuot, Jews reenact this historic moment. God re-gives the Torah, and Jews lovingly reaccept it and reenter into their covenant with God.

I like thinking of Moses also receiving the oral mystical teachings of the Kabbalah on that day. All the wisdom inherent in Judaism was revealed on that mountain, and we are told that all the souls of all the Jews then and now were present at that time. What an awesome vision.

Shavuot: Coming to Mt. Sinai and Into the Presence Again

Shavuot hovers less than a week away, a chance to once again stand at Mt. Sinai and receive the 10 commandments and the Torah. Yes, stand once again, for it is said that every Jews was present at the giving of the Torah.

When we celebrate Shavuot by staying up all night studying we move through 50 “gates” on our spiritual journey to experiencing God – to once again standing in the Divine Presence. As the first rays of light crest the nearest mountain or ocean or plain, God draws closer and we rise to meet Ruach HaOlam, the Spirit of the Universe..

What a beautiful vision.

I turned down the opportunity to teach on Shavuot. I have children and a husband and work, and I can’t give up the whole next day to sleep. Maybe I would be so refreshed by the experience that I would have no problem getting through the day, but I know my rabbi has cancelled all b’nei mitvah tutoring for that, I assume to sleep and rest. I’m sure I would not have been functional after being up all night.

While part of me wants to stay up on my own – I know someone who does that – I know I will be long asleep when the sun begins to rise. So, I began to wonder: Are there other ways to reach this height, to move through the gates, and to be in God’s presence?

My first thought was that we stand in God’s presence each Friday evening when we light the Shabbat candles, this time just before sundown. The lighting of the candles and the blessings we say invoke the presence of the Shechinah, the Divine Feminine. In Jewish tradition, each time we study Torah, God joins us. And each time we build a mishkan, a sanctuary, God joins us there.

I believe God joins me what I pray earnestly, when I speak from the heart and when I meditate and experience even one moment of being in the now – for God resides in the moment.

People have always believed that there were times when the veil between heaven and earth became thing and it was easier to access and to experience “the other side” – Divinity, Heaven on Earth, something greater than ourselves. Shavuot represents one of those times.

So, in whatever way you can, I suggest using the energy of Shavuot to move through the veil, to invoke the Divine Presence, to rise to meet the Creator. Do it in whatever way you like – studying all night, meditating, praying, conducting a ritual of your own making. I plan to do a little studying , a little praying, a little meditating, all within the structure of a ritual. What ritual? I’ve a few days to think about it…and I hope that when the time comes, I will open to the Diving flow of light and energy and know exactly what to do and that my actions and invocations will bring me to the foot of Mt. Sinai once again.

Ken yehe ratzon. May it be God’s will.