"Birth is God's Way of Saying 'You Matter'"
According to Jacobson, “This means you are absolutely necessary. You are indispensable to G-d’s vision of the world, chosen to fulfill a mission in this world that you and only you can accomplish. Like musical notes in the grand Divine composition, each of us has our unique music to play.”
As I was driving to class that morning – prior to reading this essay, I had been having a conversation with God. I had asked what I should do if my book proposal was turned down by the agent currently reviewing it. I was ready to just throw up my hands and go back to writing articles. (Well, not totally…but I was feeling a bit lost, like another rejection might be telling me I was not on the right path.) The Still Small Voice I heard told me to keep moving forward, keep moving towards my goal, because this was my soul’s purpose. I listened, but I was still a bit unsure. After reading Rabbi Jacobson’s words, however, I was convinced.
In fact, he shed a new light on my feelings of self doubt and my lack of self worth. First, I thought, “It doesn’t matter what I do or if I do anything at all. Just being born is enough to show that I matter.” Then, I thought, “Well…we do each have a purpose, and I am pretty sure I know what mine is. So, I should, indeed, keep plugging away at getting a book published. I don’t have to worry about how good I am as a writer or speaker or how much I know or what my credentials are. I need only do what I am supposed to do here.”
What freeing thoughts! If I stop worrying about what others think of me and of what I write and say and instead simply remind myself that I am fulfilling my mission and that is all that matters, suddenly I don’t need approval from outside. It’s enough to just do what I know I am meant to do.
That said, I am still struggling with the need to have an agent or publisher approve of my writing and what I teach through that writing. I still need to have people ask me to come speak and teach to them. Despite this, I realize that I need to just keep plugging forward. Whatever I do that allows me to fulfill my mission here in this life I was given, is all that is expected of me. I just need to keep working towards the goals that are aligned with my soul’s purpose.
Somehow, that perspective helps considerably. It gives me permission to be me, to do what I do, to simply keep moving forward. It stops me from judging myself against some external scale. I can rest more peacefully knowing that God is well pleased with me. I’m doing what I came into this world to do. And, the fact that I am even alive at all means that who I am and what I do matters. So, even if it seems like I’m taking small steps or dealing with obstacles or road blocks, the truth remains – I’m making progress. I’m making a difference.
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Labels: Chabad, goals, purpose, Simon Jacobson, soul, you matter
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